Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Analyses
Like any other instructive paper, an analyses paper should contain strong background information in order to keep the audience interested. Thus, it is important to write an analyses according to the type of audience such a paper is being written to adress. In an analyses paper, you must select strong points in which you choose to analyze. When analyzing a certain topic, i believe that it's important to take opinions already expressed and either defend or oppose these opinions with evidence. Going back to the audience, it is important to take the prior knowledge that audience and expand it. Analyses isn't just about statistics and numbers; and while this type of analyses can be crucial for certain topics, words mean a lot more.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Comments about the structure of this classe
I think blogging is great, new, and innovative way for students to interact with their fellow students. Within the classroom setting, some students have a problem expressing their thoughts and opinions in front an actual class but somehow, love expressing themselves through writing or "blogging". I, personally, have enjoyed doing assignments on a blog because i love showing my personality through writing...obviously. I think that future 1050 classes should take the blog into consideration. In the classroom setting, when it comes to turning in homework assignments, only the teacher makes suggestions or makes corrections. But with the blog, fellow students can make suggestions and help one another.
Topic Sentence wrsht
TOPIC SENTENCE WORKSHEET
Thesis: While band geeks are classified within their own genre, they are the everyday
human being with a special talent on the side.
First topic sentence: Band geeks do not have their "own" personal style, but a collaboration of many different styles.
Supporting Details:Band geeks can be the Abercrombie or Hollister goers who are either afraid to admit to the fact that they enjoy band or the fact that they just doan't care and have a love for music. Band geeks can go in the direction of the emo or the so - called scene style of dress: the eyeliner, dark clothing, band t - shirts, or girl pants on boys. Then of course, you have the band geeks (like myself) that where whatever they choose to wear.
Transition:While different styles of dress infect the ways of band geeks, band geeks represent the everyday personn
Second topic sentence: The term band geek can be affiliated with any type of person and any type of personality.
Supporting Details: There are your classical nerd of the nerdiest types of band geeks: big glasses, nerdy clothing, and the occasional acne. But just like in any classroom, you've got the slackers, the "too good at their instrument and should be playing in a professional symphondic orchestra" type of students, the students who spend too much time playing their instruments, the students who are taking band in order to only have to take one half credit of physical education.
Transition: As I am laying out the common stereotypes of the band geek, there is one common true love - music.
Third topic sentence: Many of band geek thrive to make beautiful music.
Supporting details: Band geeks practice and work very hard as a soloist or as a team to make an audience fill up with satisfying tears. Band geeks live off of a music and appreciate what an art music really is. Band geeks don't thrive upon the ranking they receive when it comes to their quality of play. Band geeks just enjoy the sound of all the different instruments coming together as one to make the world's ears tingle with joy.
Conclusion: Bands geeks are just another wonderful creation within the average joes and high - acclaimers of the entire human race spectrum. Bands geeks dress to please themselves, not others and will act for themselves and not others. But, band geeks strive to make music for others - music to never be forgotten.
Good Device?
It is a good idea to grab your audience's attention. Be sure to include background information, define anything that your readers may not know, try and connect your readers to the topic of your essay, etc, etc.
Good conclusion?
As always restate your thesis and moint points, give an implication of action, think of analogies or examples so that the reader can get that final connection, and always go back and refer to what was said in the introduction.
Thesis: While band geeks are classified within their own genre, they are the everyday
human being with a special talent on the side.
First topic sentence: Band geeks do not have their "own" personal style, but a collaboration of many different styles.
Supporting Details:Band geeks can be the Abercrombie or Hollister goers who are either afraid to admit to the fact that they enjoy band or the fact that they just doan't care and have a love for music. Band geeks can go in the direction of the emo or the so - called scene style of dress: the eyeliner, dark clothing, band t - shirts, or girl pants on boys. Then of course, you have the band geeks (like myself) that where whatever they choose to wear.
Transition:While different styles of dress infect the ways of band geeks, band geeks represent the everyday personn
Second topic sentence: The term band geek can be affiliated with any type of person and any type of personality.
Supporting Details: There are your classical nerd of the nerdiest types of band geeks: big glasses, nerdy clothing, and the occasional acne. But just like in any classroom, you've got the slackers, the "too good at their instrument and should be playing in a professional symphondic orchestra" type of students, the students who spend too much time playing their instruments, the students who are taking band in order to only have to take one half credit of physical education.
Transition: As I am laying out the common stereotypes of the band geek, there is one common true love - music.
Third topic sentence: Many of band geek thrive to make beautiful music.
Supporting details: Band geeks practice and work very hard as a soloist or as a team to make an audience fill up with satisfying tears. Band geeks live off of a music and appreciate what an art music really is. Band geeks don't thrive upon the ranking they receive when it comes to their quality of play. Band geeks just enjoy the sound of all the different instruments coming together as one to make the world's ears tingle with joy.
Conclusion: Bands geeks are just another wonderful creation within the average joes and high - acclaimers of the entire human race spectrum. Bands geeks dress to please themselves, not others and will act for themselves and not others. But, band geeks strive to make music for others - music to never be forgotten.
Good Device?
It is a good idea to grab your audience's attention. Be sure to include background information, define anything that your readers may not know, try and connect your readers to the topic of your essay, etc, etc.
Good conclusion?
As always restate your thesis and moint points, give an implication of action, think of analogies or examples so that the reader can get that final connection, and always go back and refer to what was said in the introduction.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Peer Editing Review/Subculture Assignment/ Definition Paragraph
SUBCULTURES
1) Band Geeks!
- Friends with every other subculter group within the high school scene
- Like all different types of music
- Comparing to the defintion from Mean Girls, "over sexually active band geeks".
- At lunch time, band geeks sit with other geeks...always the deliquents though.
- Different personalities, different styles, different backgrounds.
etc, etc.
2) Vegans
- What they eat and how do they get/make the food?
- Views on animal rights
- What they think of the "meat eaters".
3) The heavy church - goers or "Church Jocks"
- how often such people attend mass.
- how many holy books they have in their house
- how many times do they watch some religious channel on TV
- Only hang out with the Church clique.
( I could go on and on about this one)
- this particular subculture is strictly based off the life of my parents
i certainly do NOT wish to offend anyone who has their religion as a
major priority in their life.
PEER REVIEW
I thought that filling out the peer editing sheet was helpful. I enjoyed the comments that i received on my paper. But of course, i didn't understand some of the comments that were suggested. Thus, I think that it would be even more helpful if after everyone has filled out some peer editing sheets, go to the editors who made such comments and have them explain to the author as to what his or her intentions were. Like when it comes to finding sentences that don't fit or don't make any sense, i believe that the editor should be able to actually speak to the author.
DEFINITION PARAGRAPH
- my own topic: We Are America
Years ago, immigrants from all over the world seeked America's hand. America was proclaimed the land of opportunity and freedom - still is today. Til this day, thousands flock to America hoping that they will have the better life. But, the now brings forth other ideas. By the rest of the world, America is known as the enemy, a power hog, a country that is always trying to solve everyone else's problems. America tends to put the pimp or the moron into office. On the day of September eleventh, the unaware ignorance of America was brought to truth through shambles. America believes in spending more money while the economy is suffering. America is the Hollywood of the world.Ever since America was established, any kind of enemy has tried to shut America down - America has always prevailed in some shape or form; and somehow, since Gettysburgh America and her citizens have never turned on one another and have yet to surrender to its' enemies.
side note: Okay, so i don't hate america. That's just my definition!
1) Band Geeks!
- Friends with every other subculter group within the high school scene
- Like all different types of music
- Comparing to the defintion from Mean Girls, "over sexually active band geeks".
- At lunch time, band geeks sit with other geeks...always the deliquents though.
- Different personalities, different styles, different backgrounds.
etc, etc.
2) Vegans
- What they eat and how do they get/make the food?
- Views on animal rights
- What they think of the "meat eaters".
3) The heavy church - goers or "Church Jocks"
- how often such people attend mass.
- how many holy books they have in their house
- how many times do they watch some religious channel on TV
- Only hang out with the Church clique.
( I could go on and on about this one)
- this particular subculture is strictly based off the life of my parents
i certainly do NOT wish to offend anyone who has their religion as a
major priority in their life.
PEER REVIEW
I thought that filling out the peer editing sheet was helpful. I enjoyed the comments that i received on my paper. But of course, i didn't understand some of the comments that were suggested. Thus, I think that it would be even more helpful if after everyone has filled out some peer editing sheets, go to the editors who made such comments and have them explain to the author as to what his or her intentions were. Like when it comes to finding sentences that don't fit or don't make any sense, i believe that the editor should be able to actually speak to the author.
DEFINITION PARAGRAPH
- my own topic: We Are America
Years ago, immigrants from all over the world seeked America's hand. America was proclaimed the land of opportunity and freedom - still is today. Til this day, thousands flock to America hoping that they will have the better life. But, the now brings forth other ideas. By the rest of the world, America is known as the enemy, a power hog, a country that is always trying to solve everyone else's problems. America tends to put the pimp or the moron into office. On the day of September eleventh, the unaware ignorance of America was brought to truth through shambles. America believes in spending more money while the economy is suffering. America is the Hollywood of the world.Ever since America was established, any kind of enemy has tried to shut America down - America has always prevailed in some shape or form; and somehow, since Gettysburgh America and her citizens have never turned on one another and have yet to surrender to its' enemies.
side note: Okay, so i don't hate america. That's just my definition!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Thoughts on an Essay
Meet Joe Blog
In general, I thought the writer of this essay did an excellent job in they history aspect as to who created the blog and what a blog actually is. Overall, the transitional and topic sentences were very clear and fluid. In many aspects, I didn’t like that fact that I had to keep on looking down on the foots to realized what the writer was really talking about. Thus, this essay would be most appropriate for the hardcore bloggers. In some ways, I thought this essay was too colorful and didn’t do a well enough job in getting straight to the many points that were offered. Thus, I thought too many different ideas were brought forth. Also, I thought the conclusion was week; for one thing, the writer didn’t summarize the main points in any shape or form. Also, the one paragraph at the top of page 559 just seems random - a filler in order to get to the writer’s next point.
In general, I thought the writer of this essay did an excellent job in they history aspect as to who created the blog and what a blog actually is. Overall, the transitional and topic sentences were very clear and fluid. In many aspects, I didn’t like that fact that I had to keep on looking down on the foots to realized what the writer was really talking about. Thus, this essay would be most appropriate for the hardcore bloggers. In some ways, I thought this essay was too colorful and didn’t do a well enough job in getting straight to the many points that were offered. Thus, I thought too many different ideas were brought forth. Also, I thought the conclusion was week; for one thing, the writer didn’t summarize the main points in any shape or form. Also, the one paragraph at the top of page 559 just seems random - a filler in order to get to the writer’s next point.
project proposal
please PLEASE......give me your constructive criticism!
I will be arguing for the banning of cell phone use while operating a vehicle. For a pinch of background information, all of us young ones have once, twice, or maybe a lot of times have yacked away on our cell phones while driving our cars. From researching a few surveys, statistics have shown that driving while using a cell phone has caused many accidents. As for the supporting points, I will notion as to how many states or countries have already banned cell phone use while driving and see how such a law has effected (positively or negatively) the drivers of today. I will talk about how many accidents, especially how many fatal accidents have occurred from cell phone use while driving. I will definitely include the counterargument (cars need some mobile device in case of emergency) because it’s a justified cause. I may even include health issues that have occurred as well. I will also use surveys representing those who think or those who do not think cell phone use should be banned and the reasons why. All of these supporting details I believe support my position in a way that could be convincing. Using laws that have already been passed and their results will truly verify if my position is strong. Presenting real car accidents may open my audience’s eyes. In opposing the counterargument, anything that may keeps our eyes away from the road is risk including hands - free devices.
I will be arguing for the banning of cell phone use while operating a vehicle. For a pinch of background information, all of us young ones have once, twice, or maybe a lot of times have yacked away on our cell phones while driving our cars. From researching a few surveys, statistics have shown that driving while using a cell phone has caused many accidents. As for the supporting points, I will notion as to how many states or countries have already banned cell phone use while driving and see how such a law has effected (positively or negatively) the drivers of today. I will talk about how many accidents, especially how many fatal accidents have occurred from cell phone use while driving. I will definitely include the counterargument (cars need some mobile device in case of emergency) because it’s a justified cause. I may even include health issues that have occurred as well. I will also use surveys representing those who think or those who do not think cell phone use should be banned and the reasons why. All of these supporting details I believe support my position in a way that could be convincing. Using laws that have already been passed and their results will truly verify if my position is strong. Presenting real car accidents may open my audience’s eyes. In opposing the counterargument, anything that may keeps our eyes away from the road is risk including hands - free devices.
exercise 2!
WORK - CITED
Britt, Robert R., ed. "Poll: Ban Cell Phones While Driving." LiveScience (2000).
5 Feb. 2008 http://www.livescience.com/technology/060527_cell_phones.html.
SUMMARY
According to a new established survey, most Americans want some kind of law to ban the use of cell phones while operating a vehicle. Cell phones in general have been great cause in car accidents. Even the “safer” hands - free cell phones have made driving difficult. Many drivers have even admitted that their driving skills speed out the window as they’re talking on their cell phones.
PARAPHRASE
For years there have been constantly persisting to keep cell phones outside the parameters of public areas: theaters, restaurants, etc. But according to Robert Roy Britt’s article, “Poll: Ban Cell Phones While Driving”, he proclaims, “a new survey finds two - thirds of Americans would support a law banning cell phone use while driving” (Britt 1). Within such a survey, only 29 percent of the 849 people that were surveyed sad that they didn’t want such a ban. But, according to Britt, “65 percent said states should ban drivers from talking on cell phones” (Britt 1). Many surveys have suggested that hands - free cell phones still cause drivers to react and to drive slowly. The use of cell phones have caused too many fatal accidents and too many annoying, traffic jams we’ve all grown to hate. Another reference towards phone owners admit to “sometimes not driving as safely as they should while using mobile devices” (Britt 1).
RESPONSE
I firmly believe that cell phones should be banned for use while driving. While hands - free devices may cause slow reaction time while driving, I believe us humans need some mobile device handy when an emergency shows up (not every car has an Onstar button). Cell phones cause one hand to be off of the wheel , thus one hand for reaction just doesn’t cut it. Plus, there are so many other things a “cell - driver” could be doing while on the phone: radio, looking for something, or just staring off into space.
FINAL TOPIC
I am still sticking with the argument that cell phone use should be banned while operating a vehicle. I will not use this article for is has stated the same facts as the prior article that I used for the last exercise.
Britt, Robert R., ed. "Poll: Ban Cell Phones While Driving." LiveScience (2000).
5 Feb. 2008 http://www.livescience.com/technology/060527_cell_phones.html.
SUMMARY
According to a new established survey, most Americans want some kind of law to ban the use of cell phones while operating a vehicle. Cell phones in general have been great cause in car accidents. Even the “safer” hands - free cell phones have made driving difficult. Many drivers have even admitted that their driving skills speed out the window as they’re talking on their cell phones.
PARAPHRASE
For years there have been constantly persisting to keep cell phones outside the parameters of public areas: theaters, restaurants, etc. But according to Robert Roy Britt’s article, “Poll: Ban Cell Phones While Driving”, he proclaims, “a new survey finds two - thirds of Americans would support a law banning cell phone use while driving” (Britt 1). Within such a survey, only 29 percent of the 849 people that were surveyed sad that they didn’t want such a ban. But, according to Britt, “65 percent said states should ban drivers from talking on cell phones” (Britt 1). Many surveys have suggested that hands - free cell phones still cause drivers to react and to drive slowly. The use of cell phones have caused too many fatal accidents and too many annoying, traffic jams we’ve all grown to hate. Another reference towards phone owners admit to “sometimes not driving as safely as they should while using mobile devices” (Britt 1).
RESPONSE
I firmly believe that cell phones should be banned for use while driving. While hands - free devices may cause slow reaction time while driving, I believe us humans need some mobile device handy when an emergency shows up (not every car has an Onstar button). Cell phones cause one hand to be off of the wheel , thus one hand for reaction just doesn’t cut it. Plus, there are so many other things a “cell - driver” could be doing while on the phone: radio, looking for something, or just staring off into space.
FINAL TOPIC
I am still sticking with the argument that cell phone use should be banned while operating a vehicle. I will not use this article for is has stated the same facts as the prior article that I used for the last exercise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
